This post is not going to be about how you can clean more efficiently or meal plan for a month! Surprised? Well, I think there are a lot of myths in modern homemaking, and misconceptions about what homemaking really is, or is supposed to be, about. I hope this article gives you a few ideas on how to change, improve or adapt your homemaking routines and your approach to this important role and become a happier homemaker.
Don’t Aim for Perfection
What? We’ve all read those 1950s housewife guides on how to be the perfect wife and mother and I think we should smile, laugh about them, and move on! My mother was a wonderful homemaker, and she prioritised the things that mattered: giving her time, her love and her energy to making sure our home and our family were well cared for. Sometimes that meant some spaces weren’t so tidy, or the ironing basket was overflowing. She always looked beautiful but she definitely didn’t rush upstairs at 5 o clock to make sure she looked pretty for when my dad got home from work! The goal is making your house a home, not a show home. So if today you cuddled your kids, read them stories and made them a healthy tasty dinner, you did it!
Homemaking is Hard
Surely if you want to be a happier homemaker you shouldn’t be focusing on the bad stuff? I don’t agree, and here’s why. If we tell ourselves it’s always easy and that we should never have a difficult moment or month, or worse that we should enjoy every second, we’re undervaluing the role we play. Keeping a home and a family running is difficult and it’s ok to take note of that, give yourself some grace and just get your head down until things feel brighter again. Try and find others in the community that you can share these thoughts with, and take comfort in knowing that any passion worth pursuing has its tough times!
Homemaking is Work
Leading on nicely from my previous point: how many of you have thought or been told that homemaking isn’t work? Now I would agree, homemaking is not a job. You cannot pick it up and put it down, cash your paycheque and forget about it for the weekend or say “hey kids, my shift is over, I’ll see you in 12 hours”. But it is work. Even the highest callings take work. And that is how I see homemaking – as a calling to home, to love and to family. How does that help you be a happier homemaker? By acknowledging that some bits take effort, that even though you’re living the dream, some bits don’t feel that dreamy, and that everyone has days when they’re just showing up and doing the bare minimum, you can push through and the rewards will come.
Find What You Love
Every homemaker has their preferences. Some love to bake but hate cooking, some love to clean but loathe gardening, others are great at crafting and creating and can’t stand chores. And that is ok. Do the minimum required for a happy, healthy functioning home in the areas that aren’t your favourite, and give yourself more time to do the bits that make you feel like a happier homemaker.
Make Realistic Plans
We’ve all been there. We make a to do list that looks a little like this: “Clean entire house, make dinner and batch cook for next three weeks, bake for visitors tomorrow, do a workout, take kids to the park”. Look familiar? The problem with taking this all or nothing approach to homemaking is that, unfortunately, nothing will always be the outcome. Not because you won’t accomplish anything, but because you will always feel like you’ve failed because you haven’t accomplished everything. Homemaking is not a race. It can’t be finished, and you aren’t competing with anyone. Set yourself realistic goals to help keep you on track, not to use as a measure of how good a homemaker you were today. Being organised and productive are not the aim, they are tools to help you achieve the aims of a happy and healthy family, and hopefully a happier homemaker at its heart!
You Are Valued
Whether you hear and see it around you or not, homemakers are valued. Your family value your input, your flexibility and your availability. I hear many things about homemaking: “What will you talk about? I’m sure your husband doesn’t want to hear about mopping the floors”. Well, if I was a cleaner, that would be my job, so would it be ok? Just to clarify, I never actually talk about mopping (except here!) but, when spouses talk about their days, it’s about sharing the challenges and the successes. We support one another and encourage one another. One of the reasons I love working on this blog is finding like-minded people to share with. So if you are making a decision that’s right for you and your family, then you are definitely valuable!
Embrace the Commitment
Sometimes, homemaking can feel a little overwhelming. Each day, the minimum must be done regardless of what crops up. If you have children at home you can’t have a day of holiday or a sick day. And if you’re still aiming for perfection then you’re probably getting to the end of most days and wondering what the point of it all is. As with anything that’s a passion or a calling, commitment is key. I’m sure I’m not the only one who has asked whether it wouldn’t be easier to just to commit to a conventional job, but I’ve done a variety of combinations of working and staying at home and I know that when I fully commit to homemaking as my purpose I am happiest. Unless you genuinely do not wish for this life (and that is fine!) try to take a little time each day to recommit yourself to your life as a homemaker.
I’d love to hear from you if you’re new to homemaking or a seasoned homemaker. What helps keep you on track in your homemaking?
